Faux Pas Bistro: Are Smashed Home Fries a Faux Pas in a Bistro? That's The Least of Their Problems.

I really wanted to like this place. The location is great, the ambiance and open-air setup take me right back to bistros in Paris or New York and service was excellent. But alas, the food just didn't deliver. To be fair, the place just recently opened so line cooks are still "in training," we were told. But it held so much promise.

I mean, look at that incredibly photogenic burger with smashed fries, which, by the way, seem to be the fries du jour. But more on that later. Let's talk about this beautiful burger. No sooner had I bit into it did I discover the patty tasted good but it wasn't cooked right. Not enough redness. It was overcooked the first time and then the second time around as well. We didn't want to be too harsh so didn't ask for yet another round but...I won't belabor the point.

So the patty itself was flavorful enough with decent texture but again, it was somewhat ruined by overcooking. I also had issues with the works -- shredded iceberg lettuce, really? One, it was a royal pain to eat and didn't add much to the mix. Two, iceberg? Who does that for a $12 burger? Could hardly taste the roasted garlic aioli or the cheddar cheese. The sesame brioche bun was ok but it could have been less dense. Yes, I have issues with dense buns. And I just wanted to write that.

The "fries" were more like smashed home fries, which our server had warned us about but I had read the posts about these beforehand so it wasn't a surprise. I thought it was well executed -- even better than at Short Order at the Grove. It's true I not-so-secretly longed for double-fried-in-duck-fat-kind of super crispy "frites" you get at bistros (think Schillers' Liquor Bar in New York) but I still appreciated these for their uber crispiness. And the fact they weren't over salted, a topic I have been known to rant about.

Let's balance the bad with the good. Look at adorable the bread "basket" arrived at our table with a side of tomato spread. The tiny breads were nice and warm although they weren't stellar, they were good, especially with the spread.

I must now judge the Margarita pizza, or Pizzette Marguerite. Not sure it's the correct use of the word, pizzette, at least according to a rudimentary search I did to figure out the difference with a pizza. It's apparently plural for pizzetta, a small pizza in Italian but maybe it means something else in French.

Anyhow, it had none of the airy lightness I recall from the OG pizza in Napoli. The dough was too thick and doughy. There was far too much cheese that made it even heavier. The balance of dough, cheese and tomato sauce was all off. Sliced fresh basil on top was the only decent thing about it and that's not saying much. So we took it back...They were thankfully very gracious about not charging us for something we weren't going to want more of.

So gracious were the host, server and sous-chef that they gave us a pineapple tart with chantilly cream on the side on the house. Again, I didn't love it but it was very generous and nice of them to make sure we left happy. The tart was too sweet and dense but I liked the pineapple brulee that I cracked with the tip of my spoon.

My final rant about the place is the green salad, which was absolutely nothing special. Ok, it's just a starter salad but some tossed greens and two pieces of tomatoes doesn't make a salad. Disappointing for a fancy bistro that presumably takes its food seriously. Why not try to wow us with a seasonal salad like the incredible carrot salad I had recently at Son of a Gun? Bo-ring.

I'll probably be banned from this restaurant as they'll know it was me. I'm not sure I'll be returning though because while service was really attentive and I appreciate them going out of their way to accommodate us, they really need to work on the quality of the food and execution. Like I said, I really do want them to succeed. Honest to God.

But for pizza, must confess that I'd much rather go to Olio a few blocks away. And for burgers, well, you know my faves (Houston's in case you don't!).

Bouchon: Fantastic Bread, Superb Pork Belly, Soso Everything Else

Thomas Keller's Bouchon surely opened to sky-high expectations, given his stature and the hype surrounding his other restaurants, the famed French Laundry in Yountville and Per Se in New York City.

I haven't been to any other two and our server at Bouchon reminded us more than once that one should not expect to be blown away by a meal at Bouchon. After all, he said, Bouchon is a bistro and in short, is no French Laundry or Per Se. This was a place chefs from these haute cuisine joints would go eat after their shifts ended.

I'll say this. I was blown away by the bread. It was just the kind of baguette that one craves when you're wanting to just munch on cheese, salami, or just really good butter. The crust was perfectly crunchy without being too hard. The inside was soft and basically, I couldn't stop eating the bread although I usually try to save room for the starter and main dishes.


This one was an Epi Baguette, shaped like a wheat stalk. The good news and the most ecstatic moment of the evening for me was when our server told us that this goldmine of a bread will now be available for purchase at the Bouchon Bakery that will open in a few months at the bottom floor of the premises. Hopefully the bakery will have not just baguettes but eclaires, chocolate croissants and apple turnovers, which are my favorites.

Anyway, let's focus on the food that is available for now. The best dish was the braised pork belly on a bed of mixed beans (first photo). The menu described this as "glazed pork belly with a cassoulet of pole beans & mustard scented pork jus." There were chick peas, black eyed peas and canellini beans. The pork belly was soft and juicy and paired perfectly with the jus reduced to its deep-flavored essence with just the right saltiness.

Since we were at a bistro, we had to have the closest thing to the classic steak frites -- a perfectly seared bloody steak with the best fries. This one was a flatiron steak, which our server explained was a much derided shoulder area of the cow but that this restaurant cuts it differently so as to impart flavor, etc. Well, the steak didn't walk the walk, so to speak. It was good enough, but didn't have too much flavor, a-la Jar's excellent rib-eye steak. Sure, I'm guessing rib-eye may have more marbling and hence more flavor and juiciness, but in any case, not blown away. I later re-seared the leftovers over a bed of arugula and after seasoning the meat a bit, it tasted a lot better. Not much complaints about the fries. They were hot, crispy and delicious. Very generous portions too.

Perhaps the most disappointing dishes of the meal were the starters. We had, as part of the Dinela menu, ham hock terrine with pickled vegetables and good bread, as well as the mixed greens with red wine vinaigrette and warm goat cheese.

The terrine smelled too porky for me and this from someone who absolutely adores pork. I wasn't impressed with the quality of ingredients. The bread was good but I had to repurpose the terrine as a hash where I added scrambled egg, home fries, some shredded cheese and some red pepper paste. It made for a great brunch.

Oh, it also came with some garlicky canellini beans paste to spread on the bread (also complimentary for the table with the lovely previously mentioned baguette) but I wasn't into this at all.

I was also disappointed at the butter served with the baguette of my dreams. It tasted fine but really, real yummy French butter should be saltier and yellower. Call me crazy.

Desserts were nothing to write home about. The Pot de creme was some ginger-infused custard served with gingersnap cookies. This number to the right is the namesake of the restaurant -- bouchons -- basically brownies with chocolate sauce and vanilla ice-cream. A bit on the sweet side. Just ok.

The vibe reminds me of places like Balthazar and other cool Keith McNally-owned places in New York City. Granted, he probably modeled his bistros after real bistros in Paris, as did Keller.

Our server urged us to return for regular prix fixe lunch menus (albeit not listed online) even on off Dinela periods. Maybe once the bakery opens so I can stock up on bread on my way out.

Dinela Roundup: Locanda Veneta Rules, Ortolan, Craft and Palate Disappoint

I didn't go all out this dinela season but it's always a pleasant surprise when I discover a gem I hadn't previously noticed. This time around, it was Locanda Veneta, a low-key Italian joint in Beverly Hills that might as well be straight out of a small alleyway in Venice. It's rustic Italian food at its best, with decent service and hugely generous portions (maybe this part is more American).

The perfectly grilled baby squid atop spicy greens was superb, probably one of the best dishes I've had during Restaurant Week this time around.

The squid was seasoned lightly with some salt and pepper, and squirted some fresh lemon juice over it and I could taste the sea. So soft with enough of a bite. I'll definitely dream about this squid, or I'll just have to return for that.


The first course consisting of mushroom risotto, a creamy lobster squid ink (aka black) ravioli and a spicy penne alla arrabiata was a great pasta sampler. I liked the risotto the best, cooked al dente with an intensely mushroom flavor that took me back to the woods. The arrabiata was nice and tomato-y with a bit of a kick. The lobster was not fresh and pretty much killed the ravioli. I was mildly annoyed when I asked the owner to announce the dishes and he went on this patronizing explanation that would be fit for someone who's been living in a cave all her life and had never had Italian food before. "Risotto is made from arborio rice...The ravioli sauce is a saffron sauce. Saffron is..." and I had to stop him. I couldn't take it anymore. I know he was trying to be friendly. Let's not go overboard here.

As for the others, the radicchio, arugula and endive salad that was very lightly dressed in a vinaigrette was refreshing; the braised rabbit with olives, pearl onions and mushrooms was very tender, a bit salty and reminiscent of coq au vin, the classic French chicken dish braised in wine and veggies; and the pork loin stuffed with fennel and Italian sausage accompanied by grilled radicchio and caramelized onions was good but I don't like the strong Italian sausage flavor, so had to remove it before eating. The grilled radicchio transformed the bitterness into a wonderful sweetness and the onions were very sweet. The desserts were nothing special -- tiramisu and a Nutella crepe that was overly sweet and ridiculously over-decorated with creme. This from a Nutella fiend...

Portions were so large I currently have a lifetime supply of rabbit in my fridge, not to mention spinach gnocchi that it came with that I'll sear on a pan when reheating. They'll taste better that way anyway -- less mushy and crispier.

Ortolan
Did somebody say Michelin 2-star restaurant? I was never a Michelin believer, but I was appalled at how awful Ortolan was. So what if the chef is French? The service was downright terrible and the food was highly forgettable.

The only, and I mean, only saving grace for this place was the seared scallop appetizer that came with chestnuts (one of which was past its prime), grapes and kumquats in a truffle sauce. The scallop was perfectly cooked -- browned and crusty on the outside and soft on the inside. And the tartness, sweetness, sourness and nuttiness of all the accompaniments worked very well together.

The asparagus soup that came in a test tube on the house was ok. The "open ravioli" (consisting of a single sheet covering the veggies) with green beans and other vegetables was extremely bland. The braised short ribs over a light risotto and topped with some haricot verts and greens was overly salty but passable. The salmon wrapped in a pastry with some other things was bland and the salmon didn't taste fresh at all. The chocolate tart and panna cotta desserts were embarrassing.

But the biggest beef I have with Ortolan is the outrageously bad service. To add insult to injury, it automatically adds a 20% service charge to your bill (apparently all dinela patrons as a matter of policy) without telling you and has the audacity to include a "tip" line when paying by credit card. Thank God my dinner companion caught it and after speaking with a manager, it was removed and I was able to give what I believed the service warranted. Whatever you do, Ortolan, you have to pay more attention to the service. Or at least make sure your food tastes amazing so people are willing to endure the sub-par service, especially for those prices. Get thee to the Bazaar or Osteria Mozza to see what I'm referring to when I say good service.

Nick & Stef's Steakhouse
I went for the burger during the lunch hour, since it's a steakhouse and it's hard for a steakhouse to mess up a burger. The burger was decent, cooked medium rare as I like it, with a sturdy bun and basic accouterments like lettuce, tomato, red onions, cheddar cheese and pickles. The Thousand Island dressing/sauce it was smothered in was interesting.

The room temperature, over-salted sweet potato fries, however, were unacceptable. They were sliced too thin and dipped in some sort of sodium bath. No good at all. The skirt steak was tasty but the sides were unremarkable (potato puree and arugula). The lemon merengue pie was too sweet and sorbets tasted like they were out of Ciao Bella boxes (which I like, actually, but I could get that in the store!).



Craft Los Angeles
I was curious to try this celebrity chef's (Tom Colicchio) restaurant even though I never watch Top Chef. Well, I was disappointed. The best thing was the foie gras and jelly spread that was part of the charcuterie plate. It was very well made and was a great match for the bread. The greens salad with pecorino and hazelnuts sounded better on paper than it tasted. Didn't jump off the plate. We got the exotic-sounding "Hawaiian blue prawns" to much disappointment (totally bland and unexotic) and the loin steak atop beans and thyme was decent but nothing to write home about. The desserts were so blah that they don't warrant mentioning. Should've gotten the pork shoulder entree that sources later told me was the best choice...


Palate Food + Wine
A group of us went there for the dinela menu but upon arriving, decided to order off the regular menu. I would not return. Service was equally bad as Ortolan and the food was forgettable. We got the "porkfolio" cured meats sampler that consisted of prosciutto, speck, salumi, finocchiona, saucisson sec and bresaola (air-dried salted beef). I think I could get a better sampler at the Cheese Store or even the Whole Foods in Pasadena. The only thing worth mentioning was the pate-like potted pork that spread like mustard on bread and almost had a chicken/tuna-like consistency and taste but somehow worked well.

The beet and citrus salads (two separate salads) were ordinary. This may sound anal but I took issue with the way the citrus was cut in the salad. Don't cut them against the rind. Segment each piece so we only get the "meat" of the citrus. The extra work is worth it because it doesn't detract the flavors from the peel and white parts.

The best entree was the grilled hanger steak but that was not that remarkable. The dish was good but was neither original nor transformative. The pork belly with squid was the next best dish but it could have been a lot better. The squid's flavors and textures didn't pop to bring out the best in the ingredients, like the squid at Locanda Veneta above. The salmon wasn't fresh and the grilled cod was not edible. The cod was overcooked and smelled fishy.

Now for the service. Our server was not attentive and we had to continuously flag him to get more water and other baisc things that should be done by default. I was looking forward to chef Octavio Becerra's creative concoctions but alas, they didn't work and bad service didn't make the experience any better. I'm surprised at how many restaurateurs don't understand the importance of good service and don't take it seriously, especially when it comes to a so-called fine dining establishment.

Now onto burning all those calories!

Craft Los Angeles
10100 Constellation Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90067
(310) 279-4180

Locanda Veneta
8638 W. Third Street
Los Angeles, CA 90048-3323
(310) 274-1893

Nick & Stef's Steakhouse
330 S. Hope Street
Los Angeles, CA 90071
(213) 680-0330

Ortolan
8338 W. Third Street
Los Angeles, CA 90048-4311
(323) 653-3300

Palate Food + Wine
933 S Brand Blvd.
Glendale, CA 91204
(818) 662-9463

Anisette: Where's the Chorizo?

The first time I went to Anisette a few months ago, the much-hyped brasserie by the beach in Santa Monica served mediocre food and to say that the service was slow and inefficient is an understatement. Was the brasserie so authentic as to offer French service too? What a downer.



This time around, however, it seemed like they had gotten their act together compared to when they had just opened. Service was not fantastic like at The Bazaar, but at least moderately timely. The food (I only went for brunch so can't speak for lunch or dinner) was good, if not spare in its portions. I'm no fan of the massive all-American breakfasts, but to have only 4 slivers of very thinly sliced (Spanish) chorizo just doesn't cut it for this carnivore. The poached eggs on a bed of polenta with chorizo and red pepper coulis were an interesting mix of flavors and textures. The oozing egg yolks that popped as you mixed it with the polenta made the polenta creamier with a bit of saltiness. The chorizo added crunchiness as well as a much-needed saltiness and slight spiciness to the mix -- I just wished they were heftier or there were more of them! Once I quickly ran out of my slivers, I used the pepper coulis as a salsa equivalent to flavor the polenta and eggs. I liked it but my only recommendation would be to add more kick to the coulis so it adds more flavor. After all, isn't that what a relish should do?

Oh, and I take issue with the fact that bread doesn't come with the dishes. The breads are indeed very good, as all brasserie breads should be. Its croissants are very good -- buttery, crunchy and soft at the same time as you tear away layers of the beauty. The Eggs Benedict were nothing to write home about. They were ok but not as good as the polenta eggs.

My favorite part of the restaurant is its true Brasserie-like look and feel, straight out of Paris or SoHo (a-la-Balthazar). I may return for the lunch or dinner menu but not anytime soon. When I want a smaller-portioned breakfast/brunch with good bread, I'll return.

The French folks in the table next to us seemed to dislike the service with a passion and couldn't stop complaining to themselves and to the waiter about how the bread was over-toasted and the coffee wasn't right. "Mais il est con!" the old lady kept saying about the waiter.

Anisette
(310) 395-3200
225 Santa Monica Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90401